One of those reminders is the percentage of thought I now put toward responsibilities as opposed to pleasures. Gone are the days of long reading blocks at the coffee shop, driving nowhere just for the fun of it, and talking with friends for hours about how physics reveals the glory of God.
Now my mind is full with thoughts of my wife, two children, three employees, five volunteer ministry teams, seven budgets, 12 mortgage payments, and 52 Sunday morning services. My mind is full of wonderful things, God-given things, gifts. But these many thoughts can also be temptations.
I've found lately that all these thoughts keep me awake at night. I don't think it's really out of anxiety - though I'm open to correction on that point - but I just keep mulling over things in my head. The most challenging nights are the ones when I come home after my wife and children have gone to bed. I have no way to debrief about my day, no distraction from the responsibilities, no cool down.
So, on those nights, I've begun to do something else - anything else - before putting my head on the pillow. I've found that the extra 30 minutes awake leads to a more restful night of sleep.
That's why I wrote this post.
Just cooling down.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
- Psalm 127:2